


"The Crow's Sin" (Jon Snow x Reader)

by angelheadedhipsters



Category: Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: F/M, Game of Thrones References, Jon Snow - Freeform, jon snow x reader
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-15
Updated: 2017-08-15
Packaged: 2018-12-15 16:20:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,459
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11809674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelheadedhipsters/pseuds/angelheadedhipsters
Summary: "I am the watcher on the walls. I am the shield that protects the realm of men.What have you done to him? He tried to focus on that oath repeating it every time in his mind."





	"The Crow's Sin" (Jon Snow x Reader)

You were always watching over them.

Through your tiny window, how the talented lads were training every day. You hid and slowly learned their names in time. Sam, Grenn, Pypar and Jon Snow. You always admired Jon and every time the door of your secret room was opened you wished it to be him. He never arrived there.

You were a bastard, a secret healer of the Night’s Watch, and a girl. Of course, you knew their oath by heart and their strict rules about any girl. But you were too talented to waste. _‘The best healer of the north’_ , some would say. You treated so many people, so many castles, and other different places until someone from the Stark family decided to put you in place at the Night’s Watch, where there should be a higher need for better healing.

“You are a secret. And you must stay this way.” The commander told you when you were first put in your room and acknowledged the rules.

All of the wounded were brought to you blindfolded, so they would not know that there was a girl at the Night’s Watch. You were commanded not to speak when treating them as well so that they couldn’t hear your voice. No one knew and no one would bat an eye at why they were brought in that secretive manner because whenever someone stepped into your room, they were in great pain and what man who is suffering is thinking at something else rather than the pain?

 

“Hey Jon…” Sam started one day while cleaning the training swords carefully. “Have you ever wondered why every time we need healing, we get blindfolded first?”

“No.” Jon answered bluntly and sincere.

“Of course, you never got injured so you do not know how it is.” Sam continued, trying to push away that thought. But Jon didn’t just yet. Why is that happening? Is there something bad going on where they should feel safe?

Later, when the night arrived, Jon was watching carefully how the soft superficial layer of fresh snow moved like sand because of the strong wind. That cold was always calming for him. He could even close his eyes and let images of a warm home and sounds a soft lullaby flood his mind. That sound was so powerful in his head that he decided swiftly to open his eyes. Jon stopped breathing for a second. He could still hear that tuneful humming. Knowing that it was not coming from his mind, he started to follow that voice. After going up and down on some stairs he ended in front of one black wooden door. Jon turned his head more to the source of that humming slowly putting his palm against the door with the intention to open it precisely. He counted and with a strong push, the door did not open. With the try to open the door, the humming stopped abruptly. It was locked.

 

 

The next day, right in the morning, Jon went directly to Sam to talk to him about what happened.

“Sam I think there is something suspicious with our healer.” Jon finally spoke not looking at Sam feeling somehow guilty for thinking about something different from his duty. Sam smiled at the fact that his trustworthy friend and companion shared his thought.

“How come?” Sam asked curious and happy as always to talk to his friend.

“Last night. I heard a humming noise coming from that door where our healer is but when I tried to open the door, it was locked, wasn’t it supposed to be always open for emergencies?”

“If you ask me, I think there is a pattern. Listen, the door will not open if you do not have the blindfold on.” Sam explained remembering all these times he got there.

“What are you two girls talking about all day long? Keep chatting and fooling around and I will keep giving you chores!” The commander’s voice came out of nowhere, somewhere in the distance behind the two boys, making them go silent.

“We could have a plan. What do you say?” Sam whispered stretching his right hand toward Jon for approval. Jon hesitated at first but because of what he heard last night, he accepted. It was all set, despite the displeasure Jon had about this plan.

Sam had to accidentally injure Jon in the arm as late at night as they could so that no one was awake from the other boys.

 

                                                                                                                              ...

 

“I am wounded. Please open!” Jon said knocking repeatedly at your door.

As fast as you heard those words you looked through a crack in the door to see if the one who was there was blindfolded. Your heart stopped at the sight of Jon Snow. Blindfolded, he was clutching his left arm with his right hand, where he was hurt. You rapidly unlocked and opened the door. Pushing all your thoughts aside, you guided him to the chair where those who are hurt are treated by you. While Jon got his black coat out of the way exposing the wound by himself, you were preparing the bandages and the ointment looking at him. Jon turned his head at the source of the noises coming from your utensils. You stopped in your tracks, swearing that Jon was looking at you.

For the first time since you were at the Night’s Watch you were afraid that someone could see through the material of the blindfold even if it was impossible. Finally, without making him wait too much you brought what you needed and started taking care of the wound.

Your hands were normal at touch, the skin was not so soft but not rough either, not having a strong grip. Therefore, Jon could not find anything more suspicious than the blindfold. But there was a smell. A sweet subtle smell was around him. It was so subtle and so weak that he struggled to inhale more of it.

“Why can’t I see you?” He finally asked not knowing what to do exactly.

No answer.

“Hear you.” He insisted.

No answer.

“Talk to you.”

You continued your work biting your tongue, wishing that you could just say something and give up. But you remained silent because of all that hard regrets that were filling up your mind.

With that silence as a response, Jon got up in the blink of an eye and caught you by the wrist. You froze, trying not to say a word and ruin all these years of being a secret in just a second. Even if Jon could not see, he could guess and sense where you were standing from just the grip on your wrist so his next move was to catch you by the throat and shove you against the closest wall. You swallowed your whimper.

“Get this blindfold off now.” he ordered. You could feel his heavy breathing on your face.

_The wolf was hungry for a new chase._

You wanted to do it so badly, show yourself to him, let him know about you. But all the things that could happen after that move would lead to breaking the secret. You would get kicked out, without a different place to go.

“What is stopping you, why are you so stubborn? I need to know who am I working with.” Jon said seeing that nothing happened. "I need to know if I can trust you that you can and will protect the Wall by all costs."

You sighed heavily. But could _you_ trust him? A bastard like you. Raising a hand where the knot of the blindfold was keeping it over Jon’s face, you closed your eyes and loosened the knot. The moment when the black colored material fell off Jon, he saw a pair of glowing and gentle eyes, messy hair, parted rosy lips.

“A girl.” He whispered letting you go instantly but not backing up. “In the Night’s Watch!” You hear him raising his tone in disbelief and probably indignation.

You never thought you would see him this close. His features were lightened up by a hint of anger and misunderstanding.

“How is this possible?” He asked trying to keep his composure in front of you. Even in such a situation he could not lie to himself. You looked different, in a beautiful way.

“I’ve been here for years now, Jon Snow.” You said looking into his dark brown eyes.

“You know my name.” He stated frowning watching your moves closely.

“Let me give you mine. My name is (Y/N) Snow.” You told him so that he knows you are a bastard as well, thinking how it maybe would count and make him keep the secret.

“Does the commander know about all this?” Jon asks analyzing your face even more.

“Yes.”

“Explain it to me now.” Jon find it difficult to exactly know why he wanted to know more about it.

“I am known to be the best healer in the North so I’ve been chosen to take care of you more than to take care of myself, to keep you alive even if I might be the one who's dying. I am here to protect, and because I am a girl, I must remain a secret. Please.” Saying this, you realized how desperate you were actually. It was a scary thought, so many dangerous lads knowing there is a girl where there should be none. But what you could not know was that Jon had something in him that it would not let you in other hands.

“I will not say a word about this.” Was all he could say because of the shock.

“I am very thankful, Jon…” You thanked him bowing you head. All that hesitation changed the way you would normally act. For one second you thought he was looking at you in an odd way that you could not understand it’s meaning.

The truth is that, the way you said his name was giving him chills, thing that he did not want. Without any word, he rushed out of the room, leaving you alone and starring at the spot where he was, trying to get that image of him painted on your vision.

 

Days went by after that incident and you were still watching the boys by your little window. This time you were looking only at Jon Snow, admiring the way he managed to get through a fight. He did not seem somehow affected about what happened but of course, that was only what you thought. For him, the way you talked and looked that night made him compare you to the last day before winter when he felt cautious but relieved.

He couldn’t get you out of his mind. He was strong but this feeling…he couldn’t fight it. But he swore he must fight it, in front of Gods, that he will never feel such a thing. Jon only wanted to protect the wall and the whole land but you were on his mind right next to all his desires.

You woke a dark part of his mind where he started to think about you every night. How you would get a hand in his messy hair to keep it away from the nape of his neck and how you would touch his naked back treating all the scars, one by one and how you would place your palms on his broad shoulders and rest your forehead against his back, feeling you breathe against his skin.

_I am the watcher on the walls. I am the shield that protects the realm of men._

What have you done to him? He tried to focus on that oath repeating it every time in his mind, but always getting somehow hurt during the training, sometimes by accident because of him being lost in the words of that oath, sometimes on purpose, ending up to you. When he entered your room, and every time after the door was closed he would tear the blindfold off with such thirst he could not control anymore day by day.

“Treat me.” He says every time. Jon wished that you could treat his mind so that he would not crave your attention more than any other wound. Why him? Why you? He did not know what to do, he was quiet most of the times, but having the same expression on his face. An expression of a man that is trying to say something that maybe should be left unsaid.

One day while cleaning his cut, you felt him tense under your touch. Seeing this you instantly looked at his face. His jaw was clenched.

_The wolf is awake again._

“You will follow new commands from now on.” He got up from the chair and spoke. You smiled and almost laughed at the sudden intervention.

“How can you give me commands?” You asked. After all these days you could not see him as being intimidating. But he could not keep his composure anymore with you. Jon touched your left shoulder and pushed you down forcefully on the chair.

“You will not fight me.” He said looking at you from above. This was the first time you saw Jon truly angry, but why?

“Every time I will come here, you will lock the door and say that I am badly injured and that is why I am staying here more than others, if the commander asks.”

Another secret to keep? Why did he want you to do those things? He wanted to hide you from everyone else. He wanted you to be only his sin.

“If you want me to keep your secret, you must follow my rules.”

It was now clear. He wanted you all for himself even if he was not sure if it was the right thing to do. He needed you. A day without seeing you was starting to bother him even when knowing that it should not. Every time he saw you some type of anger was building up in him without letting it show. But next to that anger was ironically a calming feeling.

Jon grabbed the sides of your face pulling you closer while looking deep into your eyes and breathing your air.

“Today I might hate you for what have you done to me, but tomorrow I might kneel and fall to your feet.” Jon said knowing that soon enough he will reach his limit and let his guard down with you, letting you occupy his mind and heart. He put a finger over your lips with his right hand, and a finger over his lips as well, with his left hand.

“You will be only my secret, and I will be only yours.”

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own the characters. Please excuse my bad English, not a native speaker. Also big thanks to Hightress (http://archiveofourown.org/users/Hightress) for the inspiration and support, love you.


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